MORE PLAYING CATCH-UP: Kid 'N Play

THEN
The Legacy:
You ever had that thought when you were like seven when you were like, “I wonder what it would be like if I wore my clothes backwards for an entire day?”  Well, Kriss Kross did that on TV and made it street.

The pre-pubescent Atlanta rap duo christened by Jermaine Dupri as Mac Daddy and Daddy Mac scored a #1 hit in ’92 with “Jump,” and suddenly had the world swinging from their collective thirteen-year-old nuts.  They toured with Michael Jackson, made an appearance in a Run DMC video, and did cameos on In Living Color and Cosby spinoff A Different World.  They taught children that missing the bus apparently turns other people into zombies.  They made possibly the crappiest video game in creation in Kriss Kross: Make My Video, which was like what Mario Paint would’ve been if Mario Paint was designed by a ten-year-old black kid in 1989.

And then, they were gone.

NOW:
Our Best Guess:
You know those two crackheads behind the Speedway?  Yeah, the ones wearing the backwards pinstripe Bugle Boy jerseys that are like six sizes too small.  The next time you walk by and they try to sell you pencils, look at their faces like real close.

Daddy Mac in 2007 (author's approximation)

Turns Out:
For a little while, there was a rumor that Chris “Mac Daddy” Kelly died of sickle cell anemia due to the fact that he was bald all of a sudden.  This is untrue.  He does, however, suffer from alopecia, a health condition which causes the sufferer to lose all of his hair.  Despite this, Mac Daddy is still alive, kicking, and active on Myspace.  If his Myspace is to be believed, however, Mac Daddy currently has no friends.

Chris “Daddy Mac” Smith, on the other hand, is apparently the Zack to Mac Daddy’s Screech, as his miggety-miggety-Myspace lists a whopping 1790 friends, including Dre, Beyonce, Ludacris, and very very many scantily clad women.

Aside from their respective Myspaces, any greater internet presence from the actual duo themselves is currently nonexistent.  For whatever reason, Sony Music still hasn’t taken down their website despite it not being updated since 1995, which is like the Internet equivalent of Abe Vigoda (my favorite part is the fake airline ticket to Hotlanta under “Promotions” that lists the form of payment as “crazy loochie”).  There is, however, a site dedicated to observing the now-eleven year tradition of “Kris Kross Day”—apparently it happens in late March of every year—when people get together, lose their hair, and then disappear. Also, from the looks of their ad banners, the people who get this thing together aren't the best proofreaders on the planet.

This is an undoctored image. I swear to God.

Anyway, as far as actual music is concerned, the two are even more incognito.  About four years ago, Chris Smith was recording a solo album for release on his website, but that disappeared when his Geocities account ran out.  The two announced in 2003 that they were making a comeback, supposedly “hitting harder than they ever had”; obviously, however, everybody’s clothes are still facing the right way, so I’m pretty sure that one didn’t quite go as well as they wanted.  A Youtube poster claims to have seen them in concert in San Pedro, California, with the local hip hop cover band Trytone, but provides no visual evidence.  Still, the “Kris Kross” Wikipedia article is advertising that the ever-vigilant Messieurs Daddy and Mack have re-enlisted Jermaine Dupri to bring them back into the national spotlight in 2008 (at different times, the article has also listed collaboration from Kanye West, Travis Barker, and Swizz Beatz) so you might wanna get used to your shirt tags chafing the fronts of your necks again.  Or, you know, not.

Fun Fact
What, like besides "Kris Kross is still alive"?  Well, Chris Kelly voiced one of the Beagle Boys on Duck Tales.  How’s that?

OK, that’s a lie.  Seriously though, go ahead and tell as many people as you want.  They’re never coming back.

Best Related Item on eBay:
Hey, speaking of that crappy video game…here’s a fun prize for somebody who’s got 29 extra dollars, a Sega CD, and an extreme hankering to re-cut Kris Kross music videos with what looks to be video capture of somebody adjusting their TV screen’s vertical hold.