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| By Arnie |
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I don't know if anybody actually pays any attention to this sort of thing, but there's kind of a big "Seven Wonders" kick going on right now in the media. Just recently, USA Today and Good Morning America announced a list of "New Seven Wonders" as chosen by a panel of supposedly expert judges. Not to be outdone, there's a worldwide campaign going on sponsored by a Swiss company called the New Open World Corporation to come up with another "New Seven Wonders," with twenty-one internationally known monuments up for consideration. Now, while we here at thehelicon.com wholeheartedly recommend getting up off your asses and checking out these aforementioned historical monuments shoud you ever get the chance, this whole "Seven Wonders" thing got us to thinking, "Does this actually apply to us at all in any conceivable way?" And then it hit our lazy, couch potato, cauliflower-thumbed asses: the Seven Wonders of the Video Game World. No travel required: just some broke, burnt-out twenty-somethings putting together our ultimate list of the most iconic, unforgettable, and difficult levels, places, structures, and locations in video game history. A few ground rules:
- We wanted to look at this uniquely as if we were ranking real monuments. Since
levels in video games aren't always self-contained structures, we had to disqualify
some pretty iconic levels, such as the subway levels of Final Fight and the crazy impossible last stage of
Contra Arcade.
- No whole planets, no islands, no cities, no mountains, nothing that huge. Again, this meant
tossing some pretty historic and memorable areas, like Yoshi's Island, Planet SR88 from Metroid, and pretty much all of Oregon Trail.
- This isn't necessarily a list of the hardest levels in video game history; otherwise,
the Wall from the NES version of American Gladiators gets a spot, hands down.
Difficulty had a lot to do with it, but we're also took into consideration being
memorable, replayable, historic, iconic, or just plain cool.
- No real places.
- If it's in a video game, it's under consideration. Even if it's only in a cutscene,
if it deserves mentioning, we took it into account.
This was a long and arduous process, and numerous fistfights between the members of our staff erupted over the course of compiling this very exclusive seven-way dance. Nevertheless, at least one of us survived to publish the results. So, without further adieu, our list: |
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1. RAINBOW ROAD (Mario Kart series, multi-platform) |
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The final and arguably most unforgiving track of every Mario Kart game to date, Rainbow Road owes its steep difficulty level to the fact that it hardly ever has any f'ing guardrails. The 90 degree turns, Thwomps, Chomps, and disorienting views don't help either, and even the speed boost panels can send you careening off into the inky black abyss if you're not too careful. Rainbow Road edges the Bowser Castle tracks by a hair in terms of Mario Kart degree of difficulty, and as the most memorable track on any Mario Kart circuit, it's the first no-brainer on our list. |
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2. THE PIT (Mortal Kombat, multi-platform) |
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One of the first ever "interactive" stages in a one-on-one fighting game, the original MK's pit was the first Kombat arena to have its own exclusive fatality (that kickass uppercut into the five foot spikes that rose upwards from the floor below) and set the tone for 90's fighting game levels to be more than just eye candy behind the two guys that were beating the living snot out of each other. The Pit gave rise to the endless conveyor of deathtrap-laden Mortal Kombat stages, not to mention interactive environments in future games like Virtua Fighter, Soul Calibur, and Def Jam: Fight for New York. Plus, the Pit was also the key to what would become a staple of the Mortal Kombat franchise: the secret character. Players unlocked the chance to lock horns with Reptile, the series' first of what seemed like a billion hidden fighters, by earning a double flawless victory in the Pit in single player mode without blocking, but only if the right silhouette fell in front of the moon while the fight was going on. |
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3. DRACULA'S CASTLE (Castlevania, multi-platform) |
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Despite the fact that Dracula's Castle essentially makes up all of every Castlevania game, we decided to include it here as a whole rather than break it up into individual areas, so as not to compromise structural integrity. This ever-changing architectural marvel has been the home of Dracula's menagerie of zombies, vampires, and other goth kid fashion plates since the Castlevania franchise's first installment in 1986, and since then, Dracula has been quite the adaptable host; the castle's original platform-based interior gave way to a distinctly-Metroidy gameplay style in Symphony of the Night, and the castle was once again renovated when Castlevania went 3D with 1999's Castlevania 64. The fact that it's been around for so long and has undergone so many iterations wins Castlevania a spot on our list, edging the equally imposing Figaro Castle from Final Fantasy IV.
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4. THE 9th DUNGEON (The Legend of Zelda, NES) |
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There aren't many video game moments that are more fulfilling than finally beating Dungeon 9 for the first time in the original Zelda. Of course, just getting to the damn thing was an accomplishment, since, as the only dungeon in the game that you had to beat sequentially, actually getting to the last dungeon meant hours upon hours of playing the most immersive and confusing game of its time. Hidden atop Death Mountain and marked at the entrance by Spectacle Rock, this labyrinthine mother was the final obstacle in getting to beat the shit out of Gannon, who himself always seemed rather easy compared to the crazy hard dungeon he hung out in. Easy boss battle notwithstanding, Zelda's 9th dungeon is still a highlight in the history of last level design, and so we commemorate it here. |
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5. DR. WILY’S FORTRESS (Mega Man, multi-platform) |
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Hardest. Level. Ever. Can’t ignore it here.
6. DEATH EGG (Sonic series, Sega Genesis) |
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Sega’s mustachioed tribute to the Death Star makes it here on recognition value, because anybody who preferred Sega Genesis over Super Nintendo in the early 90’s can identify Dr. Robotnik’s trap-laden space station in a heartbeat. The staple enemy base in five Sonic games, the Death Egg was Robotnik’s pride and joy and the bane of Sonic’s existence. Originally housing the Mecha Sonic and Robotnik’s battle robot, the Death Egg eventually became the centerpiece in a grand plan to robiticize everybody on Mobius. So this one’s for you, Genesis fans. Before Sonic got co-opted onto Nintendo Wii and started cavorting around the Arabian Knights (which, by the way, wtf?), there was the Death Egg, and we’re giving it the just treatment it deserves.
7. CASTLE 8-4 (Super Mario Bros., NES) |
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Thought we forgot about Mario, didn’t you? To be honest, it was kind of a hard sell to pick one of Bowser's castles for this list, since they all look the same, but, let's face it, Bowser’s gray brick castles are some of the most iconic boards in video game history, so for our list, we went with the last level on the game that started it all. Beating Bowser on Super Mario Bros. was the first video game accomplishment for many gamers, and to do it, you had to go through a pretty tough cookie of a castle. Replete with fire, water, and warp tubes aplenty, the trek to the final Bowser was anything but easy. Sure, it was no Mega Man, but I’m sure there are some out there who still have yet to beat it, and we really can’t have one of these lists without a Mario scroller game, can we?
HONORABLE MENTION
Donkey Kong's Banana Hoard (Donkey Kong Country, SNES)
Maniac Mansion (Maniac Mansion, PC)
Space Panic Platforms (Space Panic, arcade)
Mute City Racetrack (F-Zero Series, multi-platform)
Figaro Castle (FFIV, multi-platform)
Shadow Moses (Metal Gear Solid, multi-platform)
Disagree? Drop us a line. |
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