Yes, that’s right. I had to watch My Father the Hero. I’m not proud to admit that, but there it is. In case any of you don’t remember this wonderful, lighthearted romp from 1994, let me give you a quick synopsis of what happens...

Basically, in a lame attempt to reconcile for his inability to ever spend time with his daughter for several years, a deadbeat dad decides to take his 14 year old offspring on an island vacation for a few weeks. Of course, his daughter falls in love with a handsome 17 year old island boy and tries everything she can to get him to like her. I’m going to ignore the fact that the daughter is FOURTEEN and it seems like every dude on the island wants a piece of her. I’m serious, I couldn’t believe how many camera cuts they did to guys’ enticed faces when she walked by in her little swimsuit. I felt dirty just watching them watching her. But anyways, I digress. So she tries to impress this island fellow by lying and saying that her dad is actually her lover, and that her real parents are either in jail or dead. This then leads the entire island to think that her father is actually a filthy pedophile that brought his 14 year old lover on vacation, and wackiness ensues. Oh, and did I mention that her father was a crazy Frenchman played by Gerard Depardieu? How could this film not be absolutely hilarious? In the end, the girl finally fesses up to being a dirty liar and gets the guy with the help of Mr. Depardieu, and we all live happily every after. You get the idea.

So, in honor of this terrible movie and Memorial Day, I give to you, oh faithful thehelicon.com readers, four enticing images to get you through the weekend. Come on, what says Memorial Day more than a fat, shirtless Frenchman? Viva La France!